My third son will turn 16 this December. Prior to him starting driver’s education, I promised that as soon as he got his permit, I’d take him on a practice drive. During that first white-knuckled excursion, with my life flashing before my eyes, it occurred to me that other parents of student drivers might benefit from what I learned while ushering my two older boys into the licensed population.
1. Driver's Ed Class or Driving Lessons?
In most communities, there are two driver’s education venues – public school curriculum or private companies. Compared to private instruction, a high school-based class may not necessarily be a money-saver, but here are a few things to consider:
- The duration of the program – most states’ requirements for new drivers cannot be crammed into a six-week long program offered by many private companies, but fit nicely within the confines of a semester-long schedule.
- The timing of the program – if your child is involved in any sports or other extracurricular activities, taking driver’s ed during their school day – instead of after school or on the weekends, may work best. If they balk about having to take driver’s ed during the school day, remind them that it might just get them out of taking PE.
2. Avoid Stating the Obvious
You’ve seen them – cars with “student driver” stickers plastered on the rear window. As if it’s not embarrassing enough for them to make 37-point turns or come to a hard stop 12 feet before they get to the stop sign, why humiliate them further by advertising the obvious to surrounding, possibly hostile, drivers? The level of tension in the front seat is already escalated enough without it. As such, ditch any “student driver” sticker you were planning to affix to your rear window.
3. Control Your Reflexes
It doesn’t matter if you take your child out for practice drives on a busy street during rush hour or in a vacant parking lot in the middle of nowhere, how you react will have a major impact, affecting not only the new driver's self-esteem, but your safety as well.
Whether your child is nervous and skittish or overly confident and careless, just remember:
- Stomping on an invisible passenger-side brake will not make the car stop any faster.
- What sounds like words of encouragement to you (e.g., “slow down”, stay off the shoulder”, and “mind the garbage cans”) can sound like screaming to your child.
- As much as you’d like to switch seats when the weather is bad or the traffic is heavy, remember that they’ll have to learn to drive in those conditions sooner or later.
4. Drive the Talk
The key to producing a safe driver is modeling safe driving techniques. Aside from the usual no-no’s - texting, eating or reading the paper while you’re driving, proper technique is just as important. The last thing you want is a dirty look from your child’s driving instructor after hearing that you taught him or her how to bank a turn using nothing but the palm of one hand or possibly an elbow.
5. Make it a Carrot
If your child wants to drive more than anything else in the world, why not parlay that desire into a motivator? Since getting a license is a privilege, make it contingent on accomplishing an elusive achievement – be it increasing their GPA to a certain level, getting a job, applying for a scholarship or, in our case, achieving Eagle, the highest rank in Boy Scouts. If your child leans toward procrastination, the promise of getting a driver's license afterwards can be a mighty big carrot.
And there you have it. Good luck and Godspeed (just remember to stay within the posted limit).
Barb Valentin - Barb is a freelance writer and over-scheduled, but blissful mom of five boys, one of whom is special needs.
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